My Worship Deserves Criticism (but not by you!)

First of all, to my knowledge, no one has ever criticized my worship.  Well… except for that one time in church I played the djembe for a changed up, acoustic version of “’Tis So Sweet”.  It was a powerful song that night, and mostly well received.  The response from one, however, was… not so sweet.  How did he put it?  Oh yeah, “I don’t think we need that jungle music here.”  Awesome.  Note to self - God apparently doesn’t like “jungle music”.  And, I suppose I’ll never play the djembe again.

Other than that, no one has ever criticized my worship.  Oh, wait… there’s me.  I’m self critical of my own expressions of worship in a corporate setting ALL THE TIME.  I never seem to feel completely comfortable doing what I think I should do to express myself.  In my car, no problem.  Out on a run, easy.  Even in my office with people nearby I have no difficulty expressing various forms of worship.  In church, though?  I… am… disastrous.

I’ve been in hundreds thousands of worship services.  A man my age, growing up in church, and in my profession for as long as I have been doing it has absolutely been a part of thousands of worship services.  Over the years, I’ve heard worship leaders instruct me to feel free to express myself however I feel led to do so.  I almost never do.  

Examples of raising hands or clapping are often given.  Jokes about the bible saying “make a joyful noise” [with an emphasis on noise] are often made.  Coming to the altar to kneel, or laying prostrate in the floor have also been suggested as expressions of worship.

I have been in environments where each of those has occurred separately, and sometimes in the same service.  It is a beautiful thing, and I love it.  Freedom to worship, and freedom in worship are fantastic contexts.  It helps bring to life scriptures like “I was glad when they said to me, ‘let us go to the house of the Lord’”.  

But, I generally talk myself out of my own expressions of worship.  Most of the time, I’m never quite able to execute what I think I ought to do in any given moment of church worship.  I’ll often worry about wonder what people are thinking, which then leads me to question my motives, which then leads to me being driven by my assumptions of what others think, which then quenches the Spirit.

I want to express myself accordingly to help others see that they can be free to do so.  You know, set an example and all.  Of course, it doesn't help that there is usually some kind of cartoon floating around christian circles that pokes fun at the the different ways people present themselves or lift their hands in worship.  

Sometimes I may not desire to express myself in a noticeable way; then I start worrying that people think I don’t care anything about worship at all.  Both lead me to question my motives, and my heart of worship in that particular moment.  At that point I am worshipping at the altar of pride, misunderstanding and my assumptions that others even concern themselves with how I worship in the first place.  It really is ridiculous.  My mind is pharisaical sometimes, I’ll admit it.

The truth is I have finally come to terms with my most appropriate form of worship.  Though I feel caught off guard in my discovery, it sums up my worship perfectly - I’m the quiet reflective type.  It seems oxymoronic for me considering my free spirited personality.  

The times I have been most comfortable in worship are times when I sit quietly, surrounded by singing, immersed in the instrumentation, face buried in my hands, and closing out all other distraction but my creator.  Most of the time those have been times and environments of anonymity for me.  It has been then that I have worshiped authentically; simply reflective and pensive.

I think the reason I have not nailed this down until now is because it strikingly contrasts with who I am in everyday life.  In daily life, I’m kinetic, boisterous, full of energy, and sometimes loud.  I have a flare for the dramatic, find humor in almost everything, and am laced with sarcasm.  But when I worship, I am deeply reflective and quiet.  I simply like to dwell upon the God who loves and saved me.  I love to reflect upon His goodness and benefits.  It makes me misty eyed almost every time.  I want to be repentant, thankful, and praiseful.

I have spent too many years feeling bad about not realizing the nature of my discomfort.  It’s because I haven’t actually been following the instructions of worship leaders when I’m around others I know.  In reality, and more importantly, I haven’t actually followed the leading of the Spirit in my worship.  I haven’t been “myself” in my worship most of the time, and I have drawn the fire of my own self-criticism as a result.  Today I say "no more".  Today, I will stop criticizing my own worship.  Today I will remove reason to criticize.  Today, I will repent and dismiss my pride.  Today, I will free my sprit.  Now… where did I leave that djembe?

My Appreciation for My Pastors

There are so many “appreciation” days on the calendar that I have lost count.  A quick internet search reveals an enormous number of “appreciation days”.  Enormous is relative considering there are only 365 assignable days in any given year.  Next year holds the 29th of February.  Is that Leap Year Appreciation Day?  I don’t know, I haven’t checked.

There is Mole Appreciation Day; the animal, not the saboteur.  Weed Appreciation day; the garden nuisance, not the marijuana plant.  I’m sure there is a day for the other as well.  As long as I’m referencing mind-benders, there is Beer Can Appreciation Day - just the can, not the contents, on that day.  Believe it or not, there is Root Canal Appreciation Day, but the last date of that on record was in 2014.  Somebody wised up that that was a stupid day, I guess.  On a related note, there is also Virus Appreciation Day, and it’s still around.

What about people appreciations?  We all know about Administrative Assistant’s Day... and Boss's Day. There’s Mother’s, Father’s, and Grandparent’s days.  I discovered over the last few years there is a Sibling Appreciation Day.  There is also Waiter’s Appreciation Day - isn't that what my gratuity does?  There is Military Spouse Appreciation Day.  Couples Appreciation has a whole month, which I find strange.  I always thought their day was in February.  Speaking of… there is Wife Appreciation Day.  One would think that would be one’s anniversary.  Not so, it has it’s own day.  Here are a few more:

• Building and Code Staff Appreciation Day
• Ancestor Appreciation Day [How do they even know?  What’s the point?]
• Operating Room Nurse Day AND Emergency Room Nurse Day [Apparently neither are to be confused with regular Nurses Day.]
• Love Your Lawyer Day
• Hug Your Boss Day [Okay, so… um… couldn’t this mean lawsuits and such for people? Never mind, my boss is God, right?]

My “under-boss” is my Pastor, and October is Pastor Appreciation Month.  Because I'm also a "pastor", all month long I personally have experienced the thoughtful expressions from folks demonstrating their love and appreciation.  It is a sweet thing.  This has also made me reflect upon how much I appreciate the leadership staff with whom I work.  Dude, they are awesome!  

My Senior Pastor is one of the smartest and spiritually sensitive Pastors I’ve known.  His variety of ministry experience has equipped him for everything we do as a staff and church.  I appreciate that every staff meeting holds not only fantastic pastoral leadership, but also great, workshop style exercises, instruction, and application.  I see in his face his love for us as a team.  I experience first hand his desire to shepherd us himself with intentionality, and teach us to shepherd the flock at large.  His sensitivity to the Holy Spirit is ever present and his resolve to do the work God inspires me to be a better servant and leader myself.

My Discipleship & Missions Pastor has a heart for missions and outreach that is second to none.  I love the passion that flows from his voice as he talks of people being better versions of themselves and a better version of the church.  He communicates well the vision of seeing the church as God sees it.  There is no question that he wants to see the church “be the church”.  He’s also a strategist.  I love that I can walk into his office with an idea, vision, plan, or dream and the first thing he naturally does is see all the ins and outs of it’s realization.  He quickly sees all around a plan and has immediate advice and suggestions.

My Students and Young Adults Pastor is a guy who makes me smile every time I think about his ministry.  I smile because I am a direct recipient of his work.  I watch and experience the way he runs his ministry and am thankful every day for the impact he has on my oldest son.  I watch as students shine with spiritual maturity that clearly comes from a learned submission to the Holy Spirit.  I attribute much of that growth to the impact of his ministry - he sets a good example.  I also love to hear him preach.  Never have I come away confused about his message or unclear about his points.  I also never come away without having had a great laugh.  He’s a natural at wrapping perfectly timed humor in all he does publicly which makes him endeared by all.

Our other team member isn’t technically one of my pastors, but the value she brings to our team is immeasurable.  I see her serve others daily through her ministry.  She is great at mentoring young, fresh minds toward the ministry of what she does in tech, media, and music.  I love that it’s not just a job for her but truly embraced as a ministry that reaches more people for the the Kingdom of God.  She also knows how to pull out all the stops to make everything we do look greater than any of us could do on our own.  I always need a notebook when I talk with her because at any moment a simple discussion about the mundane can turn into a huge creative, brainstorming session.  I speculate she probably brings out the best in ALL of us, but I know she does of me.

Ultimately, we make up a team that functions well together and only gets better doing so.  We laugh together.  We pray together.  We dine together.  We group text together.  We happily work together.  As we continue discovering all the ways our individual cogs turn and interact, we become a squeak-less, well oiled machine.  The synergy we have has long begun to blaze, and is becoming glaringly evident to others.  I am appreciative of every single person on our ministry team and count myself undeservingly blessed to learn from each of them.

On this Pastor Appreciation Month, I could not be more appreciative of a single group of people than I am of these I serve with each week.  They are amazing.  If you haven't got a reason to tell them so, you simply haven’t spent enough time getting to know them, and that is most certainly your loss.

These people are my pastors, my colleagues, and my friends.

Feels Like Home

Home is one of my favorite places.  In fact, it is certainly my absolute favorite place.  Everything on earth that truly matters to me is there.  Everything that reflects the attributes of God is represented by the people and relationships there.  Home is where I find unmatched safety.  Home is where I find the purest form of unconditional love(X 6).  Home is where I am most vulnerable.  Home is where I get to be a hero - and a superhero.  Home is where my imagination is enhanced by the imaginations of my children.  Home is where I find calmness in chaos.  It is where my patience is tested most and forgiveness flows most freely.  Home is where I hear the words “Daddy’s home” with loud, boisterous excitement.  Home is where hugs and kisses have the value of gold, and  are limitlessly mined.  Home is where encouragement abounds, and authentic love is unquestioned.

Though “home” might be defined differently by everyone, a healthy home is why we have clichés and sign-rhymes like:

“Our house is built with boards and beams, our home is built with love and dreams”

“Home is where the heart is”

“Home sweet home”

And as Dorothy Gail said while clicking her heels, “There’s no place like home”.

“This feels like home” were the words that came from my wife this week as we accepted a call to a new ministry role.  I could not agree more.

The response received from our new church family was overwhelming.  Everything from the thoughtfulness of people serving us above themselves to the tending of our children.  The Christian love expressed by both men and women, young and old was outstanding.  

Worshiping with this new group of people was an experience filled with authenticity, vulnerability, and freedom.  It’s the kind of authenticity, vulnerability and freedom that comes from hearts of genuine worship knit together, and saturated by the Holy Spirit.

It is a touch of heaven on earth that accomplished the task of edifying believers, striving together, on the journey in this world while worshiping and praising the creator of it.  It was safe.  It was accepting.  It was up-lifting.  It was rejuvenating.  It was unified.  It feels like home...  actually, now it is.

Thank you Wynne Baptist Church.  Thank you for adopting us into your home.  We look so forward to this new life together.

A Little Box of Soap Today

Yesterday I was listening to a conversation between two men about duck hunting.  Of course, too far into a conversation about such things gets me a little lost.  I usually nod like I know what they are talking about and locations they reference, but usually I don’t.  I did pick up on one statement from one to the other about duck hunting with his son; “If you teach him to do it, you’ll never have to do it for him.”

The other man has been spending the last several years doing just that.  Teaching the skill.  I stood there for a moment thinking about the statement and wondering to myself if there is something to the sport of duck hunting that makes that statement especially significant.  I mean, that makes sense to me when I think of fishing and cleaning your own fish.  Who really wants to spend time cleaning someone else's catch?  But, isn’t that true with any type of game?  who wants to field dress (that’s a term I know) someone else’s deer?  I’ll just have to ask one of my hunting friends when I get the chance.

Anyway, as I stood there I began to think upon the wisdom of the statement when it occurred to me that such a precept is true in all areas of parenting.  I suppose it is the same concept of teaching a man to fish instead of giving him a fish (might as well stay with the sportsman metaphors).

I began to imagine what it would look like if I was still tying my 9 year old’s shoes.  What about when he is 20?  What if I were to still be hand feeding my daughter, as a perfectly heathy and capable little girl when she is 15?  Sounds stupid, I know, but this is the truth in other major developmental stages of parenting.  I know of parents who currently do the homework of their high school students...they literally do the work for them.  Are you kidding me?

I immediately began to think upon the application of this principle in other areas from the most basic tasks on:  Teach him to clean up after himself.  Teach him to manage his money.  Teach him how to relate to others.  Teach him how to think for himself.  Teach him how to exercise common sense.  Teach him how to read and write.  Teach him how to eat with utensils.  

So many dysfunctional parenting relationships have rolled out of childhood and into adulthood because the concept of teaching instead of doing has not been followed beyond the basic skills and into the more complex areas of living.  Too often this reality becomes a terribly enabling relationship between parents and their children, and sometimes the cycle is never broken.  In many cases, adult children still act like children because they have never been taught to be adults.  They have relied on a parent to do things for them instead of learning the skill.  Both suffer the difficult consequences of that arrangement.

I know my readers who have adult children may not agree, or may feel there is nothing to do about it now.  While I’m sure it feels that way, changes can be made; perhaps that is a discussion for another blog.  In the meantime, for my readers who still have younger, impressionable children in their care, be diligent in training them in all things of life and living.  What profit is there in being a champion duck hunter and a worthless husband or father?  

The Bible instructs us to train up our children in the way they should go.  Such instruction is not limited to learning to tie shoes, button coats, or use the correct duck call.  It is a direction of self worth, right living, integrity, and building character.  It is teaching them what it means to be a man or woman.  It is teaching them what it means to follow a godly code of living.  It is teaching them to be well rounded individuals ready for this thing called life and culture.  It is teaching them to be a contributor to family, church, and community... not filling in the void and making excuses for them over and over, and over, and over.....  

1 Corinthians 13:11

When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.

Preacher Friendly

“You can’t have friends in ministry” is what a former pastor of mine once told me. He was adamant on this point and though I still do not completely agree, I understand what he meant.

The people we serve and serve alongside are also the people with whom we strive to build relationships. Unfortunately, [and unexplainably since we are the body of Christ] the local church dynamic seems to sometimes get in the way. Can you really be friends with the preacher? Do you really want to be friends with the preacher? Some do, some don’t, and some are bipolar about it. It is the way of ministry.

I am thankful that although the aforementioned philosophy may be truer than I want, God has granted me with those I can truly call friends through the course of ministry. I have some, not many, with whom I am comfortable to be vulnerable. That feeling is a tremendous thing for a minister. After all, who ministers to the minister? Who preaches to the preacher? It must be those in whom trust and reliance is found.

I love the friends that look me in the eye and call me out on my stupidity. I love the friends who discipline my children as their own and me theirs without fear of misunderstanding - I love those friends.

I love the friends who talk with frailty and welcome advice, who listen intently and respond with love and concern - I love those friends.

I love the friends who share a meal and laughter follows, who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves. I love the friends who feel right at home in my refrigerator and aren’t afraid to take the last coke or piece of cake - I love those friends.

I love the friends who can lie around and watch a show and don’t feel like an explanation is needed for the dishes in the sink. I love the friends who stretch out in the floor, grab a pillow off the sofa and feel comfortable taking a nap if needed - I love those friends.

I love the friends that hug my neck and say they love me and neither of us thinks it’s weird. They make jokes, they make fun, they make faces, and all of it becomes a lifetime of memories together - I love those friends.

I have been thinking deeply about my appreciation of friends developed over years of experiences and journeys. Those relationships are relationships that have been tested, tried and proven along paths of imperfection. Growth comes through love, accountability, and forgiveness. As time marches on and miles separate people, strong bonds remain and new ones develop.

I hope we all have friends that no matter how far away they move or how much time passes, to come together is like the moments of our closest yesterday with them – I love those friends.