Survive

For several years now, I have been in the practice of seeking the Lord for a literal word for each new year.  This word serves as somewhat of a guide for my year, and the framework of my spiritual thinking, ministry, and soul care.  I usually start praying around November, and listen for the Lord to reveal it to me by the beginning of the coming year.  

Last year my word was actually a number - “12”.  There were several instructions included with that word, but the most significant was that He clearly told me He wanted me to begin consistently walking at least twelve minutes each day.  These twelve minutes were the beginning of a new prayer experience with Him that would ultimately evolve into two mile walks almost daily.

The first half of those walks was me talking to the Lord, and the second half was me quietly listening - sometimes arguing.  God told me more, comforted me more, and gave me more instructions on those walks than any other experiences of my praying.  I’d like to say it is astounding.  But, because I believe God has no trouble communicating Himself to His people, I should not be surprised when He does.  To be surprised by God's interactions only exposes the infrequency of my paying attention.

I didn’t realize it at the beginning, but God would ultimately have me only walk all year long.  As a runner who absolutely loves running, being restricted to only walking is sobering.  But through that, God carried me to a different level of relationship with Him beyond anything I have experienced before, and ultimately became a huge catalyst to my personal obedience to Him while facing extremely difficult tests, and significant life choices. 

But, on to this year...

This past November I was less focussed on the practice of discovering my word, and am now into March still wondering what my word for this year should be.  I think it's the word “survive”.  If it is, I’m not sure I like it so much.  I don’t find much encouragement in it.  “Survive what?” becomes the obvious first question in my mind, and "through what?" becomes the second.  I guess those two questions are actually the same.  Either way, I’m not sure I want to know the answers.  

I DO know this, God has allowed me to be a surviver before… more than once.  Perhaps all the looming questions of “why” in those occasions will be answered in this one.  Perhaps those times have been preparations for now.

Also, “survive” feels like such an independent word.  It feels self-reliant.  In fact, I automatically think of the show “Survivor” and how winning requires being able to outwit, outplay, and outlast.  Self reliance is contrary to God’s call to be fully dependent on Him.  I’ve spent the last several months trying to fight the urge to humanly outwit, outplay, and outlast the trials before me. It is taxing.

Then I think about Job losing all he had in the testing of his faithfulness… 

and Joseph in an Egyptian jail from the testing of his integrity… 

and Gideon oppressed by the Midianites tested in his courage… 

I realize their “survival” was fueled by their dependance on God alone, and the solidity of His word.  Each of them found themselves overwhelmed by circumstances out of their control.  Each of them acted on God’s word in ways that confounded those closest to them.  Each of them must have wondered, in the darkness and loneliness of sleepless nights, what in the world was going on.  Surely they questioned God’s processes! Surely they had moments of doubt! Surely they had moments of depression!  Yet… they DID survive.  

In each of their stories, God sustained them in their darkest moments.  He redeemed all that seemed doomed.  It’s what God does for those who seek Him with all their hearts, and He is glorified in the process.  He sustains as we endure.  Hey… endure is another word for survive.  How about that?  

So is persevere… 

and continue… 

and persist… 

and remain…  

Yep.  I think my word for 2018 just might be “survive”.

Brittle Faith

Recently I heard a preacher say that when Jesus beckoned Peter out on the water, Peter was “literally stepping out onto the word of God.”  

What an amazing way to describe the substance of our faith in Jesus.  Not only faith for our eternity, but faith to live a life that is wrapped up in His word of truth.  That everything He is, transcends all matter, time, and space.  That every response to every calling of God is a stepping out upon His word - His substantial word that trumps all things natural and super.  How can it be?

The greater question for me, is how can I so often not trust that truth and recognize that reality.  How is it that, like Peter, even literally standing on the power of His word, I still stand distracted, and let such distraction thwart my faith in that power?  A power that I know from first hand experiences exists.  A power that I know has been the foundation of so many things in my faith walk.  A power, that even though Peter began to sink while standing upon, still existed as Jesus stood there and walked over to retrieve his submerging body.

As Jesus did so, I imagine that nothing about the conditions changed, only that Peter was then holding the literal hand of Jesus.  You know, that seems a little too clean and delicate for the occasion… maybe Jesus hoisted him up into a fireman’s carry and walked over to the boat.  Or maybe, in a zero-point-energy “Incredibles” moment he used merely a finger and flew him like a kite.  However He did it, in my opinion, Peter went backwards.

Peter, walked on water untouched by Jesus physically.  He was experiencing in his relationship what we all can, and should experience now in our personal 21st century walk of faith.  Peter had the training wheels of Jesus in the flesh, but he got an enormous taste of the level of faith walk Jesus expected of him; his counterparts; and expects of those who follow today.

My faith is brittle in many areas.  I am more aware of that today than I ever realized was true.  God has allowed me to sink beneath several distracting waves of life, in my own way of life.  I’m still not sure what to do with it all, but this I know - God’s work in the current circumstances of my life has been such that all options for me have been removed EXCEPT to simply trust Him.  To call out to Him.  To reach out to Him.  No!  Actually, to be embraced by him.

As I reflect on the story of Peter walking on water, I can’t help but wonder if he made it just far enough away from the boat that he was unable to effectively reach or swim back as he sank.  That’s an important point to me.  As it turns out, my brittle faith has been exposed by the removal of my personal securities.  When Jesus draws us to himself… when He beckons us to step out on His word, its a drawing away from all our safeties.  I know that.  I’ve preached that.  I’ve taught that.  I’m not sure I have been forced to test that fully until now.  I’m not sure I am yet passing the test either - but that's for another blog.  

To what Jesus beckons us all, is the solid, trustworthy, supernatural, foundation of his word alone... but, it is also AT His word alone.  Strangely, that is where I fear I’m failing - taking Him at His word.  And it's funny... what kind of faith is it that believes I can breathe under the water of my doubt? 

Feels Like Home

Home is one of my favorite places.  In fact, it is certainly my absolute favorite place.  Everything on earth that truly matters to me is there.  Everything that reflects the attributes of God is represented by the people and relationships there.  Home is where I find unmatched safety.  Home is where I find the purest form of unconditional love(X 6).  Home is where I am most vulnerable.  Home is where I get to be a hero - and a superhero.  Home is where my imagination is enhanced by the imaginations of my children.  Home is where I find calmness in chaos.  It is where my patience is tested most and forgiveness flows most freely.  Home is where I hear the words “Daddy’s home” with loud, boisterous excitement.  Home is where hugs and kisses have the value of gold, and  are limitlessly mined.  Home is where encouragement abounds, and authentic love is unquestioned.

Though “home” might be defined differently by everyone, a healthy home is why we have clichés and sign-rhymes like:

“Our house is built with boards and beams, our home is built with love and dreams”

“Home is where the heart is”

“Home sweet home”

And as Dorothy Gail said while clicking her heels, “There’s no place like home”.

“This feels like home” were the words that came from my wife this week as we accepted a call to a new ministry role.  I could not agree more.

The response received from our new church family was overwhelming.  Everything from the thoughtfulness of people serving us above themselves to the tending of our children.  The Christian love expressed by both men and women, young and old was outstanding.  

Worshiping with this new group of people was an experience filled with authenticity, vulnerability, and freedom.  It’s the kind of authenticity, vulnerability and freedom that comes from hearts of genuine worship knit together, and saturated by the Holy Spirit.

It is a touch of heaven on earth that accomplished the task of edifying believers, striving together, on the journey in this world while worshiping and praising the creator of it.  It was safe.  It was accepting.  It was up-lifting.  It was rejuvenating.  It was unified.  It feels like home...  actually, now it is.

Thank you Wynne Baptist Church.  Thank you for adopting us into your home.  We look so forward to this new life together.