Recently I encountered a moment of deep conviction upon my running life. It is an interesting thing to me, because it was a conviction about my own idolatry. That’s right, IDOLATRY.
In modern times idolatry seems like an almost non-existent practice, yet nothing could be further from the truth. In days gone by, among tribes in lands most of us never encounter, idolatry consists of people “less enlightened” than ourselves worshiping a fashioned piece of wood, stone, or metal made into the image of some thing, some animal, or maybe of some-one. For more “civilized” societies, idolatry seems like a silly topic, yet I have heard preachers preach against it most of my life... for that matter, I have preached against the principles of idolatry myself. We often use sports and money to illustrate idolatry for such sermons. I never think I’m preaching to myself on this topic.
Idols can be good things in our lives. Not the idolatry itself, but the objects of it. My children are good things in my life, they should not be my idol. My job is a good thing to have, it should not be my idol. Food is a good thing, it can be an idol. Likewise, exercise, with all its benefits, can be an idol in our lives. Anything I place in priority over my God, is an idol.
Strange as it may sound to some of my readers, I believe God wanted me to start running. I believe the Holy Spirit compelled me to do so. There is no doubt there were some personal revelations and physical motivators involved (See Weak One on Day 1), but ultimately I believe they were simply measures God used to get my attention to tell me to run.
One of the surprising discoveries in the process is my personal enjoyment of running. I really do like running. I know! Who knew! I like the personal achievement I feel. I like the stress relief it brings. I like the physical energy I have gained. I like the loss of pounds that has occurred. I like what I have seen along my running routes, the sunrises I have witnessed, the personal praise and prayers to my creator as I reflect. I like the personal applications I have made in the process. I like it all. In fact, after completing the training of my C25K app I immediately downloaded the next app in the series and began running towards the 10K goal. I was amazed at the progress I was making and excited to not only have hit the 5K goal (3.1 miles), but then to run 5 miles. Then to run 5 miles again... and again... and then even farther.
The five mile mark is kind of a cool mark to me. I feel proud of the fact that I can. I think back to the struggle of reaching a single mile - it was hard to imagine five. I know there are marathoners and triathletes and tough-mudder runners out there that are doing far more exerting runs, but all of them hit the five mile mark at some point. Even from the perspective of their accomplishments, I know they haven’t forgotten what it felt like to reach their first five miles. They know how I feel.
But then... God spoke to me again. I was at the point of being just a 1/2 mile from the 10K mark in my running. I had about two weeks of training time left on my app. I had already looked at downloading the half marathon training app the night before. But God convicted me. In the quite, cool, sweat dripping, rhythmic, serenity of one of my runs God said “I didn’t tell you to run 10K”.
Wait!!! What?!? I chose not to listen.
The next run that week was exhausting. I was having an awful time. I actually ran my fastest time ever to the 5K mark, but then fell apart after that. Each step seemed grueling. It was almost like day one all over again. My side began to hurt. My legs felt feeble beneath me. I felt more out of breath than ever and decided to stop and walk back home after having only run 3.5 miles.
Once again in the stillness of what was now a walk home, God spoke to me again and said “I didn’t tell you to run 10K”.
Simple as that. He cleared me to run 5, NOT 10...but why? Because of my own idolatry.
You see when I started, I found myself more disciplined spiritually as well. I found myself less neglecting of time alone with Him. I would return after a 30 minute run and sit on the patio reflecting, praying, meditating, and reading my bible more (I have an app for that, too). I would spend the rest of the hour or so tending to my spiritual walk early in the day. They were sweet, revealing moments indeed, and I was not doing it for any other reason than enrichment and pursuit of God. I didn’t use the time to pray for my church or prepare sermons. I didn’t use it to research biblical history or think about leadership strategies. It was simply me and God having intimate time together and tending to the spiritual needs and counsel of this broken man. People think ministers find such personal time easy, but that is simply not true for many of us. It is easier to rationalize our study and prep time as “our time with God”. Believe me, there is a difference between the two.
When I decided to go on to run 10K that time stopped. My 10K training took longer. It consumed more of my time. It consumed more of my energy. It consumed more of me altogether. I was reveling in my accomplishment and leaving the spiritual exercise behind. I was driven to achieve my goal and something had to go in order to get it done. Like many of the people to whom I have ministered over the years, in order to achieve what I wanted to do, I let the spiritual discipline go. It is a classic example of the flesh battling the spirit inside.
I didn’t want to stop running farther, but I must. I didn’t want to reduce my time on the run, but I must. I didn’t want to feel like I am achieving less, but I must. For now, it is 5K only for me. Somewhere down the road I expect God will release me to pursue a new distance. Until then I will perfect the one I have permission to do, and pursue new distances in my time with Him.
Ultimately, idolatry points back to self. Even when the idols reflect something of greater power than our feeble humanity, it points back to self because it is the idol we have chosen for ourselves. We have decided that it is our god, and that very act declares that we hold self as god even though we camouflage it with the image of something else.
1 Timothy 4:7-8
Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.
Galatians 5:16-17
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.
