From time to time I see posts and shares on social media with the title “Rules for Dating My Son or daughter”. I have both sons and daughters and I have scanned such rules as they scroll by. There are plenty of variations out there to include T-shirts, posters, window stickers, and magnets. I saw one artistically etched on stained wood, and there is the typical coffee mug option as well. Shy of seeing the list fashioned in old-school cross-stitch, I think I’ve seen all the presentations available.
The rules are meant to be pointed and of course humorous. They include such things as:
- Understand that I don’t like you, and never will.
- More clothes equals more points.
- I don’t mind going back to jail.
- My son is not an ATM.
I've included my personal favorite.
Obviously, rules vary for sons compared to daughters, but for the most part, the rules for each are similar - understandably, the daughter rules often include some kind rule of violence such as “whatever you do to her, I’ll do to you”.
Like most parents, I love my children dearly. I want them to have the best experiences and encounters with others possible. I’ve decided I have only one rule - Be godly. Can you do that?
When the dating season arrives, can you show up at my door for my daughters, or answer the door for my sons, and be the one who’s first priority is the pursuit of godliness? That’s truly all I ask. I figure all else will fall into place if that one thing is correct.
Guys, do I want you chivalrous? Of course! Do I want you to respect my daughters…and their parents? Absolutely! Do I want you polite and courteous? No doubt!
And girls, should you be gracious and ladylike? Yes, both are beautiful attributes. Should you be modest? I would think so. Should you respect yourself? Man, I hope so.
And, while those are all great traits, they are mostly external and can easily be faked…for a time. Godliness, though? That’s an inside out thing - a heart thing really. Godliness comes from a true encounter with Jesus. It’s the result of a transformation. Godliness is perspective and God pleasing. Godliness puts everything else second to a right relationship with him. Godliness means you are going to be perfect for my children.
If you show up in my kids’ lives with THAT going for you, we’re going to get along fine. If not, and you hurt one of them? Lets just say I’m thankful I serve a God of forgiveness - at that point, I just might need a little bit more of it.
