“Hey, Karis’ dad!!! Do you drink beer? My dad drinks a lot of it!” were the words I first heard from the mouth of one of the first grade boys my daughter knows. It almost sounded like an invitation.
I have lunch at school with Karis about every two weeks. During each visit this same kid finds his way to where we are sitting - It’s a miserable experience, truly. Few children push my buttons the way this little fellow does. Everything he does irritates me and gets under my skin. He’s the kind of kid I’m glad is not mine. Although, if he were mine, I feel confident he would behave quite differently.
Karis and I don’t sit in the same place each time because there are no assigned seats except the detention table. I’m a little confused as to why this other kid doesn’t have to sit there instead… at least sometimes. We could sit at the parents visiting table off to the side, but Karis likes for me to sit with her and her friends. I’ve discovered I’m a bit of a celebrity with the 1st grade class - that’s fun.
So far I’ve seen this kid pick his nose and show his loot to everybody at the lunch table. I’ve seen him stick those same boogery fingers in his chocolate pudding to eat it and then pass the container around for others to partake in the common cup of chocolatey delight. At least he’s sharing, right?!? I told Karis to never take any food from that kid, just politely decline.
Speaking of polite, he burps all the time. Not just once or twice, it is a constant process that gets louder and louder to an eventual climactic belch of cataclysmic proportions. These belches are usually in someone’s face followed by his laughter. I am starting to wonder who his dad is, I have a feeling I am experiencing the “mini-me” version.
This kid uses chocolate milk as the catalyst for his belching show. Today he got snot on the milk container which he surprisingly considered gross and caused him to spit milk back out. It landed in the tray section containing his mac and cheese. The girl next to him eventually asked him if he was going to eat it and before I could stop her, she had her share of the rich, chocolatey, snotty, cheesy goodness.
I tried to ignore him. Surely he would stop belching if I ignored the activity, right? Not a chance. He got louder and louder and then ultimately threw a piece of ham at me. OKAY, THAT”S IT!!!!! Look here you little punk…
I’m kidding, I don’t respond to little kids that way. Besides, the truth is everything he is doing is to gain attention. Clearly he is starving for it.
I asked Jennifer if she met the belcher the day she had lunch with Karis, but she didn't. I can’t believe it. He is there every time I go, loud and obnoxious. I can’t believe she didn’t experience him. Then it hit me. This kid is not starving for just any attention, he is in desperate need for good male attention. His activities are things he wants me to be impressed with. His activities are things for which he wants male approval.
I don't know what his story is, but the next time I go I need a strategy. I plan to figure something out besides sharing a beer with this kid. Something tells me that is already happening in his life.
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