Aiming to Please

Yesterday I had the pleasure of watching two of my sons sing with our church’s children’s choir for the local Rotary club. As a proud parent I watched the children gleefully [and no, I’m not a “Gleek”] present songs from the upcoming Christmas program at church. As I watched, I noticed something very different with one of my boys compared to the other – my oldest kept shooting his eyes at me sitting in the audience. No big surprise, right? Of course not, I’m his Dad. On the other hand, my younger son never glanced at me once… not even slightly. Not one time did he take his eyes off the director.

As I watched the one, he maintained focus on the director throughout the total program, but frequently through the songs he moved his eyes past the “front man” to the person in the room who bears the most significance to his life and all that he does - me.

As he looked at me, I consistently gave him signs of approval through smiles and grins and the hokey but understandable “thumbs up”. I continued to look to my other son as well hoping to express my approval and encouragement for his involvement, but would never have the opportunity.

I wanted so badly for him to look my way even for the slightest second. I longed for the moment of showing my pleasure and smiling at him with the same grin given to his brother. I kept thinking “surely he knows I’m right here, I’m positive he saw me come in the door.”

I understand that those of you who direct children in musicals might consider my sons as exhibit “A” for your list of what to do and not do while following musical direction. You want those children focused on your direction, because at that moment, that is all that really matters. I get that. My younger son would probably receive the most immediate praise from any director for his tunnel vision focus. Interestingly though, therein lies my point.

It is easy for those of us in leadership to get caught up in the significance of our own leadership [albeit good and important]. We all want people to follow and respond to our charge with loyal and dedicated response. Sometimes, however, we run the risk of having a self idolized notion that we are the most significant factor in the leadership equation. We sometimes forget that the people we lead need to be led to the audience of the heavenly Father who sits waiting for his child to ultimately look His way for approval and spiritual calibration. The self worth of our service and the service of those we lead must rest in the approval of the Father and in Him alone. Even the greatest of leader is still fallible.

God certainly places people in our lives to lead us and guide us through the process of Christian living and service to others. He places godly pastors, teachers, and mentors before us, but He is also engaged in the process by offering his blessings of approval for all that we do under that leadership. It is in the congruency of pleasing God first and in the service and submission to our leaders that balance is found for our accountability with each other and our leadership.

Maybe I’m reading too much into my son’s choral habits, but maybe not. I just found it interesting that his ultimate approval came not from the man in charge of his task of singing at that moment, but from his father who sat in observance of his performance at the time. Does he want to please the director? Yes, I know that he does. But, in the end he wants to please his father more. In so doing, he also pleases his director because he knows I approve of both him and his director.

As for my younger son [the tunnel vision, focused singer], the first thing he did when they were done was run to me with arms held high to receive a huge hug from Daddy; after which, I proceeded to thank the director for his leadership and a job well done. But I suppose that is another observation altogether.